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From The Carrot Revolution, Chester Elton's Blog

Customers are Like Wild Animals

July 09, 2009

My daughter Cassi recently had her car crushed by a drugged moose. Yep, you read right. The Division of Wildlife Resources of the State of Utah drugged a wild moose that had wandered into the city and, instead of lying down like the manual (written by the same department) said he would, he rampaged just far enough to crush Cassi’s and another student’s car before collapsing. Not to worry, though—Dale Leighty was on the scene for the department and reassured Cassi that they would pay for the damages. He even gave her a number to call. Their version of a customer services center, someone that could help her with the forms and paperwork. Great!

The number is (801) 521-6210. Give it a call if you have second, because that is all it will take. If not, I’ll tell you what you’ll get:

“The number you have reached is a non-returnable phone number. Please excuse the call.”

Hmmm, what? Please excuse the call?

To the State’s credit, we did only have to call three other numbers before we got to James Christensen. He was much nicer and not a recording. He did have disappointing news, however; even though the man on the ground apologized for his mistakes, the State had no liability for the damage.

Pardon?

“You see…,“ the officers followed all the right procedures according to their manual and so there is no liability or responsibility at all. “You see…,“ he went on to explain, wild animals are unpredictable. Good to know the Department of Wildlife Resources knows that!

Of course, you can always call James Christensen’s boss, Morris Haggerty. We did. He is the attorney in charge of “Risk Management” (in charge of mitigating risk, we figured).

Guess what? He said “NO” too!

Our last piece of communication from the State was the following email:

Dear Mr. Elton:
Director Roger Livingston, Jim Christensen, and I, the attorney for Risk Management, have reviewed this incident in detail.  We have concluded that there was no negligence on the part of the State in this matter.  Therefore, your request for compensation for the accident is denied. We believe that the matter was handled appropriately to minimize the chance of harm to persons and property.  Unfortunately, wild animals are not always predictable so there is a chance damage will occur despite following proper procedures. 
We think it is fortunate that no one was injured. (italics added) We are sorry if representations were made to you or your daughter that the State would take care of the damage.  No one may bind Risk Management in such matters.
We suggest that you turn this matter over to your insurance company for further handling.  You are also welcome to file a formal claim pursuant to the Utah Governmental Immunity Act (accessible through the Risk Management website) but due to the high level review that has already been made it is unlikely that our position will change.

Sincerely,
Morris Haggerty

There’s a similar story that is taking off (no pun intended) on the web. A customer of United Airlines watched as he and his band’s equipment got banged, beaten and lofted through the air by United baggage handlers, severely damaging his $3,500 Taylor guitar. After nine months of promises and dead ends with no remuneration from the airline, Dave Carroll is creating a series of music videos, posting them on YouTube, and sharing his story with everyone. I think it’ll cost United a lot more than replacing a guitar.

There are lessons here for you and me and business. You can try running your business with a flawed instructional manual, ensure employees adhere to it faithfully and then NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, you’re off the hook. Customers are, after all, much like wild animals; they are unpredictable!  When you have an upset customer, follow these proven 5 steps:
1) Promise to fix it.
2) Give them a non-working number to call.
3) If they get through to a live person, then give them the bad news but… you will appeal it to Risk Management.
4) Make sure you have someone like Morris Haggerty answer via email and in very legal terms explain to them they were FORTUNATE NO ONE WAS INJURED!
5) Move on to the next valued client.
The best part is you never have to replace any flawed products or take any responsibility for anything …EVER!

But we all know that isn’t really the case. There are untold and unanticipated costs to customer service like this. What you and I both know really works is realizing the repercussions of our decisions. By empowering and trusting employees to take accountability for an organization, and fulfilling on what needs to be done, you create life-long supporters. And you’ll gain a lot more than it will ever cost you.